Many people think that marriage is full of wonders but in reality it is full of responsibilities. So we can call marriage to be a combination of wonders and responsibilities. Marrying the man or woman we admire and love the most is surely a dream come true but most of us find it hard to mix and mingle with the in-laws. Ignoring in laws might appear convenient but in actual it is not the right way to handle relations with your new family. It is better to understand and sustain alternative than ignoring.
This means that your partner grew up in the family and loves the family more than anything. You must keep it in mind and it would be much easier for you to bear and everything will flow freely. You must accept your in laws to be your family member and not opponent. There are many people who take their in laws as opponents and spoil the relationship. It would be easier for you to accept them if you view things from their angle.
Ego is such a thing where relationships are likely to get spoil. You must try to stay humble and try to avoid any sort of conflict. You must remember the simple rule that you just need to fill in empty spaces with love and suppress ego from getting in at any point of time. You must also try to avoid comparing your in laws with your family. You must accept that every family is different and try to avoid fighting and your relationship will be benefitted.
After formal introductions, you must put some effort to know them. You must make a special effort with the older people at home, then the siblings of your partner, their partners and their kids, if there are any. We are likely to dislike or ignore people only when we do not really know who they are. You can even as your partner to help you in drawing a family tree so that you are able to remember everyone and everything about your new family. Good relationship can also be made with a smile as it is a starter to many great things. The next step you can take is start a conversation with them as you are a new member in the family. They might expect the first move from you and also be ready to accept any kind of new replies and response.
If you are finding hard to make the first move with the adults then kids are the ones who are always easy to be tackled as compared to the adults. You must try to play with or tell stories to the kids. You can even buy them chocolates or candies and let the elders realize that you are a friendly and jovial person. You must also respect the beliefs and practices of the families. For example:- if kids are not allowed to eat sweets, avoid them from giving too much of sweets.
You must show respect when you talk, eat or even when you are just sitting idle in front of them. Playing with smartphones should be banned completely. You must show attention to the conversation or the food you are eating. Attentiveness would reflect your wellbeing to them. You must not feel afraid of asking about the family history. You must show an interest in your partner's heritage and background.
You must volunteer to help in the kitchen or with the laundry, or find opportunities to buy stuff or to fix a broken item at home. This would bring a special kind of affection towards the family besides showing your hidden talents.
You need to be just yourself and you don't have to act to get a place their hearts. You must show that you are sincere in every single thing you do and you really mean what you say in every conversation. Just remember “originality always attracts”. There is no harm to share your drawbacks or weaknesses with them. You must show your talents and abilities rather than just telling.
People are different so your parents and the in-laws will never be the same. If you compare them, things are likely to get worse. Therefore accept them as they are and show love and affection to them. You may tell things about your parents or birth family but never ever brag or talk big about what you had in your home. Such things are likely to irritate your in-laws or cause negative remarks.
If you are not staying under the same roof with your in-laws then take out some time to text or call them once in a while. They would be definitely touched and it would help a lot in the bonding of your new relationship. You must make them feel that you acknowledge them. You can even use an organizer to keep track of their birthdays and anniversaries. If you have children, then keep them updated on the newest milestones reached and make every effort to meet up as often as you can if they are interested.
This is their family and always will be. If you put them in the middle of fights a lot, you will only breed more tension. Just try not to sweat the small stuff, and support your spouse's position in relation to his next of kin.
Whilst families are well, you must aware of your partner’s faults and failings. You can speak highly of your partner and mention their great qualities. You can demonstrate the admiration, respect, love and fondness you have for your partner. Your partner is a darling son, daughter, nephew, niece, uncle, aunt, grandson or granddaughter too.